Everytime I Try To Teach Him Myself, I’ll Lose My Patience And The Friendly Lesson Will End In Tears

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    Akinrefon Eno

    Akinrefon Eno couldn’t hide her Joy as she shared amazing experience in helping her child grow. She had posted on a Facebook group known as Concerned Parent And Educator ( CPE )

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    When my first son was three, I started noticing how he’d wear his slippers and shoes the other way round. I didn’t see it as a big deal because he was still a baby.

    When he progressed to nursery and started writing, i noticed how he’d write his letters the other way round, like p facing the other way and other letters like that. i still felt he was just still a baby and things will get corrected as he grows. He was quite intelligent, smart and friendly.

    However as he grew older, the complaints from school began to filter in. He wouldn’t copy notes in record time, his notes gets torn, shoes wouldn’t last a term and he gets zero in dictations. I couldn’t understand because when he gets home and i give the same dictations, he gets it but i noticed the writing errors. e.g God-odg, love-ovel etc etc.

    As a young mom, i was frustrated and at a loss at what to do. His classmates would laugh at him, the teachers will say all sorts to him and we didn’t help matters as parents.

    Everytime, i try to teach him myself, i’ll lose my patience and the friendly lesson will end in tears. I loved my baby so much and I knew he was hurting. I desperately wanted to help, I just didn’t know how.
    At some point, I realized that he didn’t have problems with spelling. Ask him to spell ad he’d spell correctly but writing it down, he’d mix it up.

    Whenever i am revising with him, he’d cry and tell me, mom, I know this spellings. I just don’t understand why I get it wrong all the time. You can only imagine how this breaks my heart all the time.

    I then told him to always take it slow, L write it down, o write it down, v write it down and e. This helped for awhile but teachers were never patient enough because his writing was so slow. This happened until he wrote common entrance exam and progressed to J s s 1. i was a teacher in his new school. The experience was terrible. His notes were always missing or incomplete. My colleagues would embarrass him, beat him and sometimes boo him.

    At this point, i started reading, asking questions on the internet and that was when i discovered dyslexia. Oh the relief when I realized pe aye ko lo n se omo mi! I soaked up as much information as I could, joined communities of parents with such kids etc. Then i warned everyone sternly to leave him alone. I began to study with him for test and exams. I spoke to him about it and told him there were many great people with the same issues and he could beat it. Whenever he lost a note, i’ll replace it and help to recopy it.

    The process was slow but i was seeing improvements. When he left the school to another school. I had a meeting with the schools admin and some of his teachers and explained the situation to them. I told them I didn’t want him bullied or booed and they should please help me help my son. I told my son that no matter how scared he is to fail, he should never cheat.

    Yes, i wanted good astounding grades but if he cheats to give it to me, I will not appreciate it. During his BECE exams, he told me how the invigilators wrote the answers on the board for them but he refused to copy. His result came out with all C’s while his classmates had As and Bs. He felt terrible but I encouraged him because I was really scared. His writing and spellings are more terrible when he is agitated.

    Months before Waec, he began to study. He studied hard and I tried to provide the materials needed. I was scared, I was really really scared. From time, maths has always been a battle coupled with our writing material. I was sure if the exams were to be orals, my son will bag all A’s. He is that good and i’m not embellishing it. In his school the director calls him a young lawyer. He represents his class in debates and never loses. I have to check and recheck his essays before he submits.

    As an English teacher, his dad had to mark past questions he solved, he does excellently well in obj but these spelling issues will leave the book looking like a fatal accident scene. So i was really scared. Everyday he returns from the exam centre, he’d tell me how there was maximum examination malpractice but I always reinforce the fact that he must not cheat no matter how much he wants a great result and he assures me all the time, he has come all the way without cheating and wouldn’t start now.

    Yesterday, we checked our result and here it is:
    Marketing -E8
    CRS – B3
    Economics – C4
    Government -C6
    Literature – C6
    Civics – A1
    English – C4
    Yoruba – E8
    Maths – C4

    My joy is mixed. With this current grading system, can anything be done with this result?

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